Have I Really Changed?

Hello, my loves! Time and time again people are throwing the word “change” around willy nilly. Especially New Years.” New year, new me am I right?” I would love to challenge that theory of whether or not I have truly changed as a person.

I find that people who frequently say they have changed are the same folks who treat the word like underwear. They put them on and take them off for one reason or another. Maybe it is the look, the feel, or overall level of cleanliness. But, like their underwear, they are constantly changing. However, the real question is what defines change? Who established this rulebook that outlines exactly what a person must go through in order for them to say they have “changed?

I believe people say that they have changed because of what life and their environment have put them through. Heartbreak, jobs, loss of friends/family, stress, and school are common instances why people can say they have changed. Prime example, high school is jam-packed with experiences, most of which involve friends. When someone suddenly goes through a phase, acting abnormally, or just plain out experiencing life a whole different way than what the other is used to, “you’ve changed” is the automatic response to give. You cannot always dog someone for being a different spectrum than you. For whatever reason, they may have, negative or positive, people will always feel compelled to change.

I will be the first person to say that I have not changed. I never felt as though I went through this internal or external change or “glow up”. I have gone through a phase or two, but it never took me took a place where suddenly I threw out everything in my closet and addressed the color black as the new everything. Nor, did I ever pick up a new persona that I suddenly decided this is the new skin I am choosing to wear. The biggest change I have ever gone through was cutting my hair to a short wild pixie cut. Even then, my life was not transformed by a new look, but merely a different stride to my step.

Through my own experiences, interactions with others, and internal struggles, I have learned from them all. All my dark moments taught me to always find the positives, in any and all situations. Times, where I was left friendless, were looked at as reflective, constructive or simply put, taking a “me” day. Not something I should be ashamed of. Nights of no sleep and days spent running solely on my hyperactivity. All preparing my for the college road and utter demand life can bring. Most importantly, the periods of loneliness edifies the lesson that you have to be comfortable being by yourself. Constantly drowning yourself in the company and chatter of others can make solitude sound like a nightmare. But I will tell you something readers, I find my journey through life nothing short of an evolution.  I may not have gone through a butterfly-like metamorphosis where I am going from larvae to a winged beauty. Moreso, I am what we all are human. I do not shed my skin and morph into a new persona or person. I am naturally growing and evolving in this skin. Plus, getting more and more comfortable in it every day. It is all a part of loving yourself too.

So just like our underwear, we change them over and over to fit the way we feel and find true comfort. Every pair is unique and there is a pair for literally everyone. So like your skin and pair of underwear make sure you love them because you will never stop wearing them. (Except to wash them of course!) As for me, I will simply continue to adjust and make sure I am comfortable in my pair. Thus,  I will venture on in life never changing but always evolving.

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